COUNT UP WITH ERIK!
by Maxniss Everide
Summary: If you looked in most popular book catagories on the book catagories page, you find that Phantom of the Opera is under Maximum Ride-and now Warriors :  Erik, Christine and I- Maxniss Everide will Count up the stories by having fun adventures!
1. 9,820 Phanfictions

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing about Phantom of the Opera, whether it is Gaston Leroux's version, or Webber's version, or any other version in between. Thank you, and enjoy!**_

**Max**: Hello phangirls of the world, it's me, Maxniss Everide! And here's everyone's favorite opera ghost, Erik!

**Erik**: Must I even waste my time doing this?

**Max**: YES!

**Erik**: Are you trying to be me by threatening me to do this?

**Max**: Basically, yes. I've always wanted to BE you, not MARRY you. Trust me, there's a difference.

**Erik**: But still just as creepy.

**Max**: Not as creepy as stalking a girl much younger than you, therefore making you a pedophile.

**Erik**: Arguing with me is not going to make me do as you ask

**Max**: ... True. And what are we doing here today, Erik?

**Erik**: Well, I'm here because you kidnapped me to tell everyone to write more "Phanfictions" to at least beat the Maximum Ride archive in the popularity list. Now, I don't quite understand how you kidnapped me.

**Max**: Simple, I had Christine distract you while I injected you with a knockout drug. When you woke up, you were here. The drug also made you forget what happened, Hehe.

**Erik**: Where is she now?

**Max**: Who?

**Erik**: CHRISTINE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE! THE OTHER HALF OF MY SOUL!

**Max**: Wow, don't get so dramatic! She's in the other room, with Raoul and Willoughby.

**Erik**: Who's Willoughby?

**Max**: My dog. He doesn't like fops much, so Raoul probably isn't having so much fun in there.

_-Dog growls come from the other room-  
_  
**Erik**: That sounds painful

**Max**: Nothing happened to him... Yet

**Erik**: Ha! Wait, Christine won't be hurt, will she?

**Max**: Heck, no! He loves blondes!

**Erik**: Phew! So as Max here said, we need to beat the Maximum Ride archive, which begs me to ask this question- isn't half of your penname Maximum Ride?

**Max**: Yes, I love that book series as well as Hunger Games, but the Phantom of the Opera archive is SO close to beating it, that I couldn't help but want to give it a boost.

**Erik**: Hmmm, so this means that people could write more things about me?

**Max**: Yup.

**Erik**: Do I end up with Christine in these...?

**Max**: Only in about... Hmm let me see... 99.9% of them.

**Erik**: What about that other 1%?

**Max**: Raoul fans that should be Pun jabbed.

_-Erik takes out Punjab lasso-  
_  
**Max**: No, you don't need to do that, I'm sure the millions of other phans have done that for you.

_-Though not completely convinced, Erik puts away lasso-_

**Max**: Okay, so... So far, it's... The Phantom of the Opera - 9,820, Maximum Ride- 12,720. We can beat them!

**Erik**: Is Christine still out there?

_-Dog barking, growling, and ripping. Woman's screams are heard-_

**Max**: Did Christine just scream...?

**Erik**: No, too low-pitched to be her. It's the fop.

**Max**: Oh... yay…

**Erik**: I presume that you should think of something else to write, if you wish.

**Max**: And reviews would be nice

**Erik**: Yes, that would be nice

**Max**: We'll count up to the amount of stories we have on here by having Erik, Christine, Raoul, me- Maxniss, and possibly one of my friends do some goofy things at my house, or just argue.

**Erik**: What kind of things...?

**Max**: Muahaha, you shall see

**Erik**: I don't like the sound of that. So, please review to tell us what we should do, and keep it appropriate, for my sake -this girl is crazy.

**Max**: I am not! I told you I didn't want to marry you!

**Erik**: Yes, I know, but you're still mentally unstable due to the fact that you brought the Phantom of the Opera into your domain.

**Max**: And I brought Christine, who can most likely calm you down.

**Erik**: And the fop, who I will most likely strangle in this time period as well as my own.

**Max**: …

**Erik**: Also, I conclude that I have hidden the gunpowder under your house, so if you do not do as I tell you, there may be a requiem mass, which is not at all gay.

**Max**: I'm assuming you mean happy?

**Erik**: No! It is not at all happy!

**Max**: Erik….. I thought you liked Christine….? Don't tell me you're into fops now!

**Erik**: What? What are you speaking of, nasty girl? I simply meant that the requiem mass is not at all gay, which if you do not completely understand me, means that it will not be happy or good, or joyful or whatever you want to call it. Whatever you thought I meant is strictly insufficient to what I meant.

**Max**: Right, back then… that's what "gay" meant. Okay, I knew that, but for my sake, don't say that phrase again!

**Erik**: The requiem mass is not at all gay.

**Max**: Gah! Shut up!

**Erik**: The requiem mass is not at all gay.

**Max**: FINE YOU WIN! NOW SHUT UP!

**Erik**: Then do as I say.

**Max**: What?

**Erik**: Bring Christine to me, and no harm will be done.

**Max**: Okay- in the next chapter.

**Erik**: Fine, so let's conclude this.

**Max**: One, two, and three...

**Erik and Max**: _Review, that's all we ask of you!_

**Max**: _And write stories too!_

_-italics mean that there is singing!-_


	2. STILL 9,820 Phanfictions!

**Just one little thing:**

-_This means that there's a certain action or anything else going on in the room-_

**Max**: _This means that someone is singing_

**Good, now I'm glad that you understood that! And thanks for the reviews so far!**

**And I'm glad I inspired some of you to write! ;D**

_**Disclaimer: See chapter One. This goes for the whole thing**_

**Max**: Hello again!

**Erik**: ….

**Max**: Erik, say hi.

**Erik**: Not until Christine walks in here.

**Max**: She'll come in. WILLOUGHBY! DON'T KILL THE FOP YET!

_-growling stops. Angry and scared fop- Raoul- comes in with Christine- the pretty curly haired blond-_

**Erik**: Not yet…. Hehe.

**Christine**: Was that your dog?

**Max**: Yes, unfortunately. I'm sorry about that. He doesn't really like people like Rauwl.

**Christine**: You keep pronouncing his name wrong. It's Raoul!

**Max**: Sorry, I don't speak French, nor do I have a French accent. You'll need to ask my friend about that.

**Raoul**: THAT DOG COMPLETELY DESTROYED MY OUTFIT! LOOK AT THIS!

**Max**: Dude, I really could care less. The only reason you're here is because Christine wouldn't come without you.

**Raoul**: …. Wow, I feel loved.

**Erik**: Sorry, you're just as hated nowadays as I was hated back then.

**Max**: Look how the tables have turned. Hmmm… should we keep him here…?

**Erik**: No, he's just a plain nuisance.

**Max**: But he is funny….

**Christine**: And cute! I mean- hi Erik.

**Erik**: ….

**Max**: Do you think I'm insane for talking to fictional characters?

**Erik**: Yes. Wait… what fictional characters?

**Raoul**: You

**Erik**: I AM NOT FICTIONAL

**Raoul**: Yes you are. So am I.

**Erik**: NO! Look at what it says here in the accursed book! "The Opera Ghost really existed." See? HA! Maybe you're just fictional Raoul.

**Raoul**: Then that wouldn't make sense…

**Erik**: Ugh… you're giving me a headache. Maxniss, can you make him go away? All my attempts always seem to come out in failure in getting rid of him.

**Max**: Okay, sorry Ra-Rao-

**Christine**: Raoul

**Max**: Right, uh Ra…oul, you're going back to 1870 for right now, okay?

**Raoul**: You're not making that dog go with me, are you?

**Max**: Hmmm… that is a good idea… but no, I need him here. If a certain friend of mine comes around, then Will needs to get rid of him.

_-Without another word, Raoul is pushed through the legs of the magic piano keyboard. He disappears instantly-_

**Erik**: He doesn't have to come back here, you know. We're perfectly fine without him.

**Christine**: Speak for yourself, Erik.

**Erik**: If it weren't for me, he'd be dead right now.

**Max**: If I remember correctly, you were the one who was killing him in the first place.

**Erik**: Wait, how did I try to kill him again? Was it the torture-chamber or was it my Punjab Lasso?

**Max**: Either, or, Depends on who you're asking. Webber would say lasso, Leroux would say torture-chamber, but it's really up to you.

**Erik**: Torture-chamber; it just seems more of my style.

**Christine**: Yea, that's what happened.

_-Max puts her hands on both sides of her face and says in a funny voice-_

**Max**: Oh No! Oh No!

**Erik and Christine**: What?

**Max**: This is horrible!

**Erik and Christine**: WHAT?

**Max**: The Warriors section might beat us if they get 40 more stories!

**Erik**: No! Then the stupid fanfictions about cats will have more stories than us! I mean, honestly, Phanfictions are just better! More scenarios where I end up with Christine!

**Max**: Or more ways you don't end up with her.

**Erik**: I wouldn't be talking if I were you, seeing as to how you can't even find a boyfriend.

**Max**: ….. *_tear* _and we still have the same amount of Phanfictions as last week!

**Christine**: What…?

**Max**: Honestly you don't understand. Erik, tell her what Phanfictions are.

_-Erik explains what Phanfictions are in French, so that way Christine may understand him better-_

**Christine**: OH…! I GET IT!

_-Max hits her head into a wall-_

**Max**: Anyway…. Not to mention that I was watching the flow of how many Phanfictions there were all this week- this of course was when I wasn't busy actually doing homework, or like writing- and there were fewer ones than last week! Well, now we got back up to the exact same amount that we had! GAH! 9,820!

**Erik**: It's okay, Max, it's not the end of the world.

**Max**: No, but I'm not going to let the Warriors section beat us.

**Christine**: Before Erik came through the piano portal, you talked about how you used to love Warriors…

**Max**: Yea, before I met one of the three authors of the books. I didn't like her. Did you know that Erin Hunter was just a penname for all three women working together on the books?

**Erik**: No…

**Max**: Of course, Erik, because I didn't tell you anything about it. Well, I met the one who writes the outlines for it and she was a jerk to me. And she said that she hated cats.

**Erik**: Oh, I'm sorry.

Max: You don't sound concerned, Erik.

**Erik**: Uh huh…

**Max**: You're sounding like my stupid friend right now!

**Christine**: What stupid friend?

**Max**: No one…. Just a guy….

**Christine**: OOH! TELL ME!

**Max**: No, he just doesn't really like me all that much, so um… I told him about some really big accomplishment that he cared about the day before, and then he just nodded, but didn't care…. I really shouldn't be talking about this. It's not like anyone really cares *_chuckles nervously_ *

**Christine**: It's okay. You could always have Erik as a friend!

**Max**: I don't think Erk would appreciate that all that much. And besides, my friend is already exactly like Erik.

**Erik**: How the heck is someone exactly like me?

**Max**: I don't know, maybe he went back in time and visited Leroux and Leroux based you off of him.

**Erik**: Is his face deformed or does he smell of death?

**Max**: No, his face isn't deformed…. And I've never been close enough to him to see if he smells of death. But he is really tall like you….

**Erik**: That's just plain bizarre.

**Max**: And he's obsessed with music….

**Erik**: What about architecture?

**Max**: Um… probably not… maybe he's more like the version of you from the musical….

**Erik**: Well, technically I am a combination of the musical and book version.

**Max**: I couldn't decide, okay? I like both versions the best!

**Christine**: What about me?

**Max**: I like you as a curly brunette better, but considering that blondes are stereotyped to be dense….

**Christine**: _Think of Me! Think of me FONDLY!_

**Max**: Exactly.

**Erik**: I really should kill you

**Max**: But you won't. If you do, then the portal will no longer work and you'll be stuck here FOREVER! MUAHAHAHAHA!

**Erik**: I don't believe you.

**Max**: How do you know…?

**Erik**: I hate you.

**Max**: In a way that you love me.

**Erik**: What?

**Max**: Sorry, that's a thing that a different friend of mine says. It's actually kind of funny.

**Erik**: Of course it is.

**Christine**: So…. How much longer are we going to do this?

**Max**: Just another thirty seconds to get the point across.

**Erik**: Good, because I will strangle you.

**Christine**: Don't you dare hurt my friend!

**Max**: Sweet! I have a friend! People! Like write! Please! Maybe a bunch of one-shots! Trust me, I wrote a one-shot last night!

**Erik**: You did? Can I read it?

**Max**: You'll strangle me.

**Erik**: Good, now I'll have a reason too.

**Max**: You, Christine, and the fop can read it next week, okay?

**Erik**: Grrr… fine

**Max**: So phangirls out there! Please review this and if any inspiration comes to you, then WRITE! Please! I don't want to be beaten by a bunch of stupid wild cats!


	3. 9,832 Phanfictions!

**Max**: It's me again!

**Christine**: And me too! _LAAAA_!

**Erik**: Your voice is lovely as always.

**Christine**: Awww… thanks Erik! _LALALALALA_!

**Max**: I have good news!

**Erik**: You might actually get a boyfriend?

**Max**: … I'm not answering that. Huh, why should you care?

**Erik**: Considering that at the moment I have no managers to pester, no prima donnas to make into toads, and no fops to kill, my only entertainment comes from bothering you.

**Max**: But I let you compose and flirt with Christine!

**Erik**: True… but I can hardly say that a piano keyboard can satisfy my needs to compose my dark arts. And what do you speak of this "flirting"?

**Max**: I…well… right….you're from a different time. I um… let you and Christine talk in a romantic way…..?

**Erik**: You let me, but she doesn't. That's a world of difference _mon ami_.

**Max**: Do you wanna hear my good news or not.

**Christine**: Did that guy ask you out?

**Max**: Why is everyone assuming that this has something to do with a guy? This has NOTHING to do with a guy! Wait… what guy, Christine?

**Christine**: The one that you always tell me about when you come home from school.

**Max**: OOHHH! Heh, him… you mean the one that reminds me of Erik?

**Christine**: Yes! They should really meet, you know.

**Erik**: Oh joy.

**Max**: HE SAYS THAT TOO!

**Erik**: Says what?

**Max**: He says "oh joy" in a sarcastic way like you just did!

**Erik**: ….. Should I really care?

**Max**: You cared last week!

**Erik**: I did until you explained that he doesn't have a death's head or a deformed face or smell of death or an interest in architecture.

**Max**: But he's obsessed with music and he sometimes has this murderous look!

**Christine**: Now, Max, you aren't hanging around someone who has urges to hurt anyone, right?

**Max**: Heck no! He wouldn't hurt a fly! He just goofs around in a murderous rage thing….

**Erik**: Too immature to be me. Wait; is he in love with any sopranos?

**Max**: No, he's not obsessed with me.

**Erik**: I said "in love" not "obsessed"!

**Max**: For you, those words are one and the same.

**Christine**: You're a soprano?

**Max**: Alto-soprano. I'm going to have to take lessons someday to get that straightened out.

**Erik**: Sing.

**Max**: What? What do you want me to sing?

**Erik**: The Phantom of the Opera.

**Max**: But I can't-

**Erik**: Sing for me.

**Max**: Um….._In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came, that voice which calls to me and speaks my name. And do I dream again, for now I find, the Phantom of the Opera is there, inside my mind._

**Erik**: _Sing once again with me, our strange duet, my power over you grows stronger yet. And though you turn from me to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind._

**Christine**: _Those who have seen your face draw back in fear; I am the mask you wear._

**Erik**: _It's me they hear_

**Max, Christine, and Erik**: _Your/my spirit and my/your voice in one combined. The Phantom of the Opera is there, inside your mind._

**Max**: Okay, we can stop now.

**Erik**: Sing for me.

**Max**: Are you talking to me or Christine?

**Erik**: Sing for me.

**Max**: uh…. _Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!_

**Erik**: Sing for me!

**Max**: _Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!_

**Erik**: Sing! My angel of music!

**Max**: What…?

**Erik**: Yes you!

**Max**: _AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH!_

**Erik**: SING FOR ME!

**Max**: _AHHHHHHH, AHHHHHH!_

**Erik**: SSSIIIIIINNNNNGGGG FFFOOORRRR MMMEEEEE!

**Max**: _AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!_

_-Max begins coughing and sputtering, though Erik hardly notices this-_

**Christine**: That was intense.

**Max**: Yea.

**Erik**: Does your throat hurt?

**Max**: No, of course not. You only managed to have me almost break a vocal cord or something… gosh I thought you knew what you were talking about when it came to music! Ouch.

**Erik**: Oh, well if that's all- I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO MUSIC!

**Max**: You probably do, unless it leads to straining someone's voice.

**Erik**: I did not strain your voice!

**Max**: *coughs*

**Erik**: That was your own fault.

**Max**: Not really, considering that you kept making me go higher when you knew that I couldn't go higher without hurting myself. There's no point in arguing with me: I'm as stubborn as you and you probably don't want to have Christine see you argue with her friend. *coughing fit*

**Erik**: …. What was your good news?

_-Max gets out a piece of paper since her voice is still really sore and writes it down for him. Erik gets out old man glasses and reads the paper aloud-_

**Erik**: Ahem, twelve more Phanfictions this week. Oh! That's good! I think…

**Christine**: Yes it is good! Congratulations!

**Max**: * In a raspy voice*Thank you.

**Erik**: So… what about that one-shot that you wrote about me? Can I read it?

**Max**: Well… oh, what the heck, everyone else on Fanfiction read it already, so why not you?

_-Max logs onto the site and finds _Don Juan NOT So Triumphant _in the archive. She clicks it and shows it to Erik. She also shows him how to scroll up and down on a computer-_

**Erik**: Hmm, this seems interesting…

**Christine**: Can I read it?

**Max**: Later.

_-Erik begins reading it-_

**Erik**: What the heck is that fop planning?

**Max**: …. I'm not giving it away.

_-Erik goes back to reading, but then looks up at Max again-_

**Erik**: This is the costume from the musical, not the movie?

**Max**: Yes, because the musical was better than the movie.

**Erik**: Darnet.

**Max**: *Surprised* Apparently, he liked the movie costume.

**Erik**: No, I just liked the cape. The mask didn't cover enough of my accursed face. THE CAPE WAS EPIC!

_-Goes back to reading the story-_

**Max**: Oh… okay- where the heck did he learn the word "epic"?

**Christine**: I think it was from you.

**Max**: Oh, right. I do say that word quite a bit.

_-Erik looks up again-_

**Erik**: Is this just supposed to be restating what already happened the night of _Don Juan_, because if it is, then I'll just be really annoyed with you for bringing up bad memories.

**Max**: Don't worry, you're fine.

_-He reads about another paragraph and looks up-_

**Erik**: Why does it say "The woman onstage"? We all know it is Christine!

**Max**: I'm not answering that.

_-Erik doesn't make any more comments; much to Max's little sanity. His face twists into different emotions while reading it and looks up in a rage, throwing the computer onto the bed as he gets up-_

**Erik**: No! That fop is stupid! Why would he do that?

**Max**: You just said it. He's stupid.

**Erik**: But that doesn't make sense how he came up with such an elaborate plan…

**Max**: Dude, chill, it's a story.

**Erik**: Well, so is my life! The least you could have done was have Christine kiss me passionately!

**Max**: But that happens later! The rest is based off what happens next in the musical! Didn't you read the author's note?

**Erik**: Why should I? You're right here!

**Max**: True.

**Erik**: Honestly, woman! Why would you torture me so by writing that! I mean the very thought of singing with-

**Max**: SSHHHH! You'll give it away to Christine!

**Christine**: Can I read it now?

_-Erik shoves computer over to Christine, flaming angry, though not at her, but at Max-_

**Erik**: Yes, see how this girl over here tortures me.

**Christine**: Oh ok. Finally I get to read Max's writing!

_-Christine reads _Don Juan NOT Triumphant _on Max's laptop. She doesn't comment at all. Erik and Max don't say anything, waiting in anticipation for her to finish. Finally she gives the computer back to Max with tears in her eyes-_

**Christine**: Erik, I'm so sorry.

**Erik**: Sorry, about what? As Maxniss already said, this is only something from her mind, my dear. It isn't real.

**Christine**: I know, my angel, but what I really did to you was much worse. I let you think that you had me when you didn't. And then I kissed you… and….

_-Christine sobs. Erik awkwardly hugs her-_

**Erik**: Shhh, everything will be alright. Your fop will be here shortly and take you away from this monster soon.

**Christine**: No, Erik! You're not a monster! I've told you that a thousand times!

**Erik**: For once, I wasn't speaking in third person. I was speaking of Max. She made you sad.

_-Erik glares at Max-_

**Max**: Gosh, why do you always blame everything on me, Erik?

_-Erik ignores Maxniss since he doesn't feel like explaining in front of Christine. Christine, feeling guilty, resolves to singing for her angel once more-_

**Christine**: _It won't be easy  
You'll think it strange  
When I try to explain how I feel  
That I still need your love  
After all that I've done  
You won't believe me  
All you will see  
Is a girl you once knew  
Although she's dressed up to the nines  
At sixes and sevens with you_

_I had to let it happen  
I had to change  
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel  
Looking out of the window  
Staying out of the sun  
So I chose freedom  
Running around trying everything new  
But nothing impressed me at all  
I never expected it too_

_Don't cry for me Opera Ghost  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_

**Erik**: _And as for fortune and as for fame  
I never invited them in  
Though it seemed to the world  
They were all I desired  
They are illusions  
They're not the solutions  
They promise to be  
The answer was here all the time  
I love you and hope you love me_

_Don't cry for me Christine Daae_

**Christine**: _Don't cry for me Opera Ghost  
The truth is I never left you  
All through my wild days  
My mad existence  
I kept my promise  
Don't keep your distance_

_Have I said too much?_

**Erik**: _There's nothing more I can think of to say to you_

**Erik and Christine**: _But all you have to do  
Is look at me to know  
That every word is true_

_-Max applauds and stands up since she was sitting on her bed-_

**Max**: Bravo! Great job using "Don't Cry for Me Argentina" and replacing it with your own words! Brava!

_-Erik and Christine look at Max blankly-_

**Erik**: Oh yes, you're still here.

**Max**: How the heck did you forget that? I was sitting here the whole time!

**Christine**: It is okay, Max. You said so before, you never had real music lessons. So you can't understand getting lost in the music.

**Erik**: What are you talking about using this song "Don't Cry for Me Argentina"? We made that up ourselves!

**Max**: Well… actually no. Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice made it up. Maybe it's because you were also partly Webber's creation that you sang it…

**Erik**: Ugh! Webber! He tried to claim us when we already belonged to Leroux! I mean, Christine's hair is BLONDE!

_-Erik strokes Christine's hair lovingly-_

**Max**: Ahem, right – probably not a good idea to tell them that I like the brown curly hair better.

**Christine**: I heard that!

**Max**: Well, anyway… Next week we're going back to 1870 through the magic piano keyboard time portal to visit Raoul. So anyway, write stories! Please!

**Christine**: Oh and review!

_-Erik kisses Christine-_

_!_

_!_

**Max**: Guys, seriously, not in my room! Like, kiss in front of the fop or something, but seriously? There are children reading this! Maybe…

_-They hardly break away from the kiss-_

**Erik**: Uh-huh

**Christine**: Mmhmm

**Max**: Must be nice. Have fun kissing. Do you realize, Christine that it's adultery to be kissing him?

**Christine**: … I didn't marry Raoul yet.

**Max**: Oh, okay, you're fine then.

_-They continue kissing because they could honestly care less about what Max is saying at this moment-_

**Max**: So anyway, since I can't really get them to stop kissing, review! And write stories! We need to stay ahead of Warriors and try to catch up to Maximum Ride! Thanks!


	4. We got beaten by a bunch of stupid cats

**Max**: I'm mad

**Erik**: Why are you mad?

**Max**: Just. Look. At. This.

_-Erik, though a little confused, looks at Max's laptop-_

**Erik**: Yea, I don't see what you want me to see.

**Max**: *facepalm* It's really not that hard to figure out. Where do you find _The Phantom of the Opera_ on this page?

**Erik**: Well, it's right below _Song of the Lioness _and right under… oh. I see what you mean.

**Max**: Finally Erik! Gosh, sometimes you can be so slow!

**Erik**: Sorry. But you can't blame me that we're now right under _Warriors._

**Max**: WE GOT BEATEN BY A BUNCH OF STUPID CATS!

_-Christine walks over-_

**Christine**: What's wrong?

**Erik**: We were beaten by stupid warrior cats, apparently.

**Christine**: Oh, Erik! I'm so sorry!

_-Christine kisses Erik-_

**Max**: Okay, guys, like really? Do we have to go through this again? We have a dilemma here!

_-Reluctantly, the two lovebirds break apart-_

**Max**: Thank you. Now, there is some good news in this.

**Erik**: What's that?

**Max**: We're only four short from beating _Warriors. _Also, seven stories were added since yesterday, so that's good.

**Christine**: Well, how are we going to make sure we stay ahead of _Warriors_?

**Max**: Hehe, well, I have an idea.

_-Twenty minutes later, we find Erik and Christine in strange dancing costumes. Erik is wearing sweats with one leg rolled up to expose black stretchy pants underneath. He's also wearing a leotard. Christine is wearing the same thing as him, only in girl form-_

**Erik**: And this is supposed to help, how?

**Max**: Simple, we're going to give the Phangirls some inspiration by doing a dance routine.

**Christine**: Um, Max, I'm kind of scared. I haven't danced in a while. Don't you think we should get Meg to do this instead?

**Erik**: No! I will not dance with Giry's daughter! I much prefer Christine!

**Max**: Then it's settled. Dance!

_-Max cues calm music that should be played while people are doing interpretive dance. Christine starts talking really weird and slow while doing these interpretive dance moves. Erik follows what she's doing, but he's failing at the attempt-_

**Christine**: Good… Afternoon…Today…. we are dancing…. to the beat of….. "Hummingbirds". Isn't it nice…?

**Erik**: Christine…. Christine….

**Max**: Christine…

_-Erik glares at Max while trying to do a "bridge". She would be scared if he didn't look so ridiculous-_

**Max**: Oh! By the way, to one reviewer named Dancer, we are just taking this whole thing one step at a time. Once we get more stories than _Warriors _and_ Maximum Ride, _then we can go onto bigger things like Harry Potter. Baby steps, remember, baby steps.

**Erik**: I am doing baby steps!

**Max**: I wasn't talking to you!

**Erik**: ….

**Max**: Anyway, I generally only update this once a week, but this was just kind of new, seeing that we were beaten by a bunch of cats.

**Christine**: Ouch! Max, I think I pulled a muscle!

**Erik**: I'll help you! Ouch!

_-Erik crumples to the ground in pain, noticing that he strained something in his leg-_

**Max**: Okay… so before I go get my first aid kit for them, just wanted to remind you, write stories! Review! Whatever! Thank you once again to all my reviewers! And thanks so much to the ones who review every chapter-PhantomWaffles and Thaovyphantran. And of course to everyone else who reviewed- Sheridyn-the-Phantomess, nannyandpotocrazy, and Dancer. It means so much! Oh and we will be going to 1870 in the next chapter. Sorry for the inconvenience.

**Erik and Christine**: Ouch! MAX!

**Max**: I'm coming!

**A/N By the way, the dancing thing is an inside joke thing at my school. It was for a skit that my drama class did. It was pretty funny... So if any of you actually do interpretive dance, or anything like that, I didn't mean to offend anyone. Just wanted to let you know that, thanks! :)**


	5. 9,857 phanfictions!

_-We see Erik in Max's living room, sitting on the couch-_

**Erik**: WAAAA!

_-Did I mention that he is holding a bucket of chocolate ice cream in his lap? Well, he is, and he has a spoon in his hand, scooping ice cream out-_

**Erik**: LIFE ISN'T FAIR!

_-Max enters, bewildered at Erik's behavior and slightly angry that he stole _her _bucket of chocolate ice cream for when some stupid guy indirectly breaks her heart-_

**Max**: Erik, what's wrong?

**Erik**: We have to go back to 1870 and visit the fop! WAA!

**Max**: Are you afraid that Christine will go back to him?

**Erik**: *sniffles* maybe.

**Max**: Awww, Erik… *gives Erik a hug* you know that she won't do that. She told you that she loved you while we were here and-

_-Erik pushes Max away and gets up-_

**Erik**: Exactly! She said it _here_, in _this _time period, but what about when we go back to _my _time period? There's no guarantee that she'll return my undying love!

**Max**: *sighs* Erik…

**Erik**: _He _will be there to sweep her in his arms and they'll sing that stupid song _Say you love me every waking moment, say the world and I'll be there with you_! Blah! It makes me sick!

**Max**: Erik…

**Erik**: They're betrothed you know! Or did you forget? How can she find the heart to deny him when she's with him again? When his little puppy dog eyes stare into hers? The music in her heart will leave her again and… and… *sobs*

_-Max once again hugs Erik, and surprisingly he lets her hold him-_

**Max**: Erik, you know that she would never do that to you. She'll see that you're the only one who can understand her and give her the music that she desires. There is nothing- no music, no men, and definitely no fops that can ever part your love. Do you understand me?

_-Erik nods-_

**Max**: Good, now we should probably be going.

_-Erik hesitates-_

**Max**: Erik, come on. You're the Phantom of the Opera; you have faced much worse than this.

**Erik**: I know, but after a few weeks of retirement from that, it's hard to get back into it.

**Max**: *sighs* This is probably not a good time to mention the bad news…

_-Willoughby comes running in, followed by Christine-_

**Christine**: What bad news?

**Willoughby**: Woof!

**Max**: Well, I probably shouldn't mention it since Erik is feeling sad-

_-A Punjab lasso wraps itself around Max's neck. Max is struggling to breathe-_

**Erik**: It's nothing, my dear Christine, nothing at all. *loosens grip on Punjab* now Max, what is the bad news?

_-Max can finally speak again, though she's a little wary since Erik didn't take the Punjab off of her-_

**Max**: Um… well…

**Christine and Erik**: Yes?

**Willoughby**: Woof! Bark!

**Max**: Warriors beat us again! WAA!

**Erik**: NO! I'm going to kill those cats!

**Christine**: *sniffles* We're not going to have to do another dance routine are we?

**Max**: No, I think I've tortured you enough already.

**Erik** **and Christine**: Good

**Max**: *pets Willoughby*We might just have to let Willoughby do something to the cats, huh, Will?

**Willoughby**: *growls* Woof!

**Max**: Good boy. Now guys, we're going to 1870. Do you have all your things?

**Christine:** You packed your extra masks, right Erik?

**Erik**: My extra masks are at home in 1870…

**Christine**: Right… I kind of forgot.

**Max**: We should watch Labyrinth when we come back…

**Erik**: Ha, that's my kind of entertainment!

**Christine**: But Erik, Jareth is so mean to the girl!

**Erik**: Yes, but he can sing!

**Christine**: Erik, is that all you care about?

**Erik**: No

**Christine**: Is that all you like about me?

**Erik**: NO! You mean so much more to me than your music! You aren't a canary that I want to constantly have sing for me!

**Christine**: Oh really?

**Erik**: YES! So Max, can we go now?

**Max**: Of course! You go first Erik!

_-Shoves Erik through magic piano keyboard legs-_

**Christine**: My dress will get dirty!

**Max**: TOO BAD!

_-Christine is pushed against her will through the legs of the magic piano keyboard-_

**Max**: Okay, so yeah, Warriors is ahead of us by a lot. I'll probably write some more one-shots this week and possibly another full length story, but no promises on the story.

_-Max goes through the magic piano keyboard legs back into 1870-_

**A/N I just wrote something today for a teacher of mine, so I'm kind of not in the mood to write this. Also, I gotta finish the chapter for "Specter of the Theatre" and in the Hunger Games archive "Mirror Image" so I kinda need to make some time for those stories. Sorry this chapter wasn't as funny. Other chapters will be better!**


	6. 9,859 Author's Note

**A/N I've been kind of bombarded with stories right now so what I'm going to do for now on is just write a bunch of one-shots when I get the chance, since starting new stories only stresses me out more. If you are in the same boat as me and can't start any more stories because you already have your hands full as it is, then I suggest that you can write a one-shot instead. **

**Oh and thank you to everyone who is writing more stories so that we could beat Warriors! It means so much to me!**

**Oh, and I might not be able to update my stories for a while, because I have to write a few more chapters for "Mirror Image" in the Hunger Games archive. If any of you are Hunger Games fans… then not trying to advertise it, but if you are a Hunger Games fan, then I suggest you read it **

**I'm so sorry for the lack of an update this week. I've just had a lack of inspiration for quite a while and- this is very rare and very scary for me- I am not in the mood to write anything. Not even this story. When I feel this way, my writing is usually junk. So it's better if I update next week.**

**BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THAT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA NOW HAS 9,859 STORIES! WE'LL CATCH UP IF WE WRITE 27 MORE STORIES! **

**I just wanted to let you know.**

**Thanks so much!**


	7. Typing this FROM MY PHONE!

**Max**: I'm writing this chapter from my phone, so let's see how this works

**Erik**: You brought your phone to 1870?

**Max**: Yes, now shut up.

**Erik**: Fine.

**Max**: I'm afraid that I'm going to get carpel tunnel in my hand, so I'll make this brief: one-shots- write them. If you dont have an idea for a one-shot, then please please, PLEASE, PM me! I have way too many ideas that I don't have the time to write out!

**Christine**: Erik, your lair still looks the same from when we left!

**Max**: Cos I brought us back at the exact same time as we left! Gosh

**Christine**: ...

**Max**: Whatever. FOP!

**Raoul**: *walks in* AHHH! where'd you come from?

**Erik**: *face palm*

**Max**: My hand hurts. If I have time, I'll continue this later.

**Raoul**: I swear, I will kill you Erik!

**Erik**: Of course, as you've said you've BEATEN me before!

**Max**: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO SAY THINGS FROM THE LOVE NEVER DIES SCRIPT!

**Erik**: ... Okay... So review!

**Max**: Review! And if this is one huge paragraph somehow, then I'll fix it later! Thanks! OH AND NOW THE HUGE PARAGRAPH HAS BEEN FIXED! YAY!


	8. Love Your Enemies, Erik

**Max**: I'M BACK!

**Erik**: And so am I!

**Christine**: Me too!

**Raoul**: Me three!

_-Max and Erik glare at Raoul-_

**Max**: Nobody really cares Raoul.

**Raoul**: *sadly* okay.

**Max**: Anyway… we're still here in 1870, which I guess we have been for a few weeks… sorry about the lack of updates. I blame school and track _(in real life, not this story)._

**Erik**: Okay… so now what?

**Christine**: I guess there's something that I have to tell Raoul.

**Raoul**: What is it, darling?

**Christine**: *swallows nervously* well… um…

_-looks back at Max, who prompts her to go on-_

**Christine**: Hehe, funny story, see after you left Max's time-

**Erik**: She's in love with me, fop, and she's going to marry me so deal with it.

_-Everyone stares at Erik-_

**Christine**: I never said that I was going to…

**Raoul**: *hopefully* so you'll still marry me?

**Christine**: Um…

_-suspense…. Suspense…. Suspense…-_

**Erik**: *impatiently* no she won't!

**Christine**: Uh… right.

**Max**: Let her tell him gently, Erik.

**Erik**: No! He caused me too much pain! I can't pass this up!

**Max**: Love your enemies, Erik. Trust me, it'll pay off in the end.

**Erik**: *scoffs* how?

**Max**: For one, they get kind of confused and second, they might even feel worse.

**Erik**: Really? *evil grin*

**Max**: Oh no… this will not end well.

**Raoul**: But Christine…. I thought after all of that to free you…

**Christine**: I know, but maybe it's better.

**Raoul**: How would you know…?

**Erik**: It's okay, Raoul. I can understand. Trust me, my pain was a thousand times worse. I died.

**Raoul**: *look of shock and a little nausea on his face*

**Max**: Okay, so this is the only update that I could do at the moment, but more will be coming. We will try to stay in this time period a little longer than expected just to make up for lost time. Sorry if I lost a lot of readers, but to those still reading, thanks for still believing in me! It means a lot!

**Erik**: Max, you're forgetting something.

**Max**: What did I forget… oh yes! Of course, duh! Phantom of the Opera is in 6th place with the most popular books in the Fanfiction archive with 9,900 Phanfictions! YAY! Except it's still pathetic that Warriors got ahead of us…

**Christine**: I'm sorry.

**Raoul**: Of course you are!

**Christine**: I wasn't talking to you, fop.

**Raoul**: ….

**Max**: I don't have much time left, math homework, grrr I must go back to reality where Erik and Christine don't exist.

**Raoul**: You forgot me.

**Max**: No I didn't. You exist at my school in the form of a silly boy who likes ducks.

**Raou**l: ERIK THERE'S A DUCK IN YOUR LAKE!

**Max**: There rests my case. So write stories! Thanks! I have a few ideas and I'll try to think of a few one-shots! Hasta la Vista!

**Raoul**: …?

**Erik**: She said goodbye in Spanish.

**Raoul**: You would know that. BYE!


	9. 9,910 Phanfictions!

**I'm sorry, my email was being stupid, so I'm going to answer you're reviews right here.**

**Thaovyphantran: Raoul is an idiot pansy, I completely agree. But unfortunately I know somebody who is almost exactly like him at my school. And he's in love with ducks *shudders* Yup, I'm excited for Erik and Christine's wedding. That'll be fun to write :D**

**Iamreal: My penname is a combination of both Maximum Ride and Katniss Everdeen, yes. See, I created my account a year ago, when those were both of my obsessions. Last year, my friends thought that I was a combination of both of those characters so when I made this my penname, they got a kick out of it (actually, I give KKandPercy credit for the Maxniss half of my name) but now that I'm obsessed with Phantom, it kind of doesn't make sense anymore.**

**Oh by the way, if Erik says something in bold, it means he's throwing his voice. **

**Thanks! And enjoy the chapter!**

**Max**: Guess what?

**Erik, Christine, and Raoul**: WHAT?

**Max**: I'm writing another Phanfic!

**Erik**: Max…

**Max**: I know, I know, I need to finish my other phanfics!

**Erik**: Max…

**Max**: And I will! I promise you! But I'm having issues with the second chapter of The Phantom's Assistant!

**Christine**: Max… Erik wants-

**Max**: And I know what I'm going to do with the Pheline of the Opera and A Rose Beneath the Mask, but I'm just too lazy, okay?

**Erik**: MAX SHUT UP SO I CAN SAY SOMETHING!

**Max**: Why didn't you just say something in the first place?

**Erik**: *growls* The stupid managers might find us down here any day now and realize that I'm not really dead. We need to go somewhere else.

**Max**: But I like it here…

**Erik**: WE WILL BE FOUND AND KILLED! WE NEED TO GO!

**Max**: *mutters* bipolar much? Fine, let's go. Where do you think we should go?

**Raoul**: We should go to my mansion! Now that I'm no longer disowned, we can go live there for now!

**Max**: Okay, but can we bug the managers one last time?

**Erik**: Hehe, of course, that's what makes my life fun.

_-We go into one of the trapdoors and spy on Andre and Firmin-_

**Firmin**: Andre, have you gone mad? He's dead.

**Andre**: No he's not! I HEARD him!

**Firmin**: Uh-huh, sure you did.

_-Erik gives us a little smirk and we hear his voice in Firmin's ear-_

**Erik**: **Are you so sure that I've left you?**

**Firmin**: AHHH! No, you're dead!

**Erik**: **Yeah, ghosts usually ARE dead. That's why I'm called the Opera Ghost, wise guy.**

**Andre**: I TOLD you!

**Firmin**: *shaking* it could be much worse, he could be asking for-

**Erik**: ***to both of them* By the way, you're a little overdue on your salary. I really would like to have it now. **

_-Firmin faints-_

**Erik**: **Well, that was a little unexpected. Andre, please tell me you aren't going to faint too.**

**Andre**: I-I-I uh…

_-Andre faints-_

**Erik**: *to us* well now my work here is done! Let's go to the stupid mansion!

_-We make our way to the mansion when we are intercepted by Meg-_

**Meg**: Oh hey guys! *flirty* Hi, Erik!

**Erik**: *face gets red* Um, hi, Meg.

**Christine**: Hi, Meg! How are you?

**Meg**: Mmm, pretty good *gets really close to Erik*. How are you and Raoul?

**Raoul**: She broke up with me.

**Meg**: *surprised* Oh? Why?

**Erik**: Because Christine and I are getting married.

_-Meg is suddenly angry and pushes herself away from Erik-_

**Meg**: WHAT? After all we've been through? After all that and you… I HATE YOU ERIK!

_-Meg stomps away-_

**Christine**: What was that about?

**Erik**: *too quickly* NOTHING. Uh- hem nothing.

**Max**: I thought Meg wasn't supposed to like you until Love Never Dies

**Erik**: *rasps* shut UP! We don't need YOU-KNOW-WHO to hear about that.

**Max**: Erik…

**Erik**: No. DON'T. EVEN. GO. THERE. I'm not a pervert.

**Max**: But I never said-

**Erik**: Silence.

**Max**: So let's see how many stories there are now. Oh look Phantom of the Opera now has 9,910 stories! I think we're in 7th place (miscounted last time, sorry). Remember if you need story ideas, I have them!

**Raoul**: WE'RE ALMOST THERE! YAY!

**Erik**: Okay! So you guys better wait until next week! Bye!

**Christine**: Wait! What happened between you and Meg?

**Erik**: Oh look, Christine! It's a bluebird! Okay see you all next week!

**Max**: Okay… just remember, I have story ideas… bye


	10. 9,921 Phanfics

**Now I will answer those who reviewed!**

**Thaovyphantran: I'm sorry that ducks have become disgraced… The ducks can attack the fop if you wish- muahahaha. And yay! How'd you like EriksNewLove's story?**

**EriksNewLove: I'll give you a few one-shots, just tell me what kind of one-shots you're looking for Thank you for pointing out the obvious, my friend- we know all about his stupidity. Haha!**

**dudette: Actually, I hadn't thought about that with the bluebird. You give me too much credit- it was inspired by the bluebirds that I always see at my school (they fly right in front of me which is amazing). But I'm so glad you caught that! Oh, don't worry, Meg won't be completely morphed. **

**Alright, on with the action!**

**Max: **Raoul…

**Raoul**: Yeah.

**Max**: I'm bored.

**Raoul**: What do you mean 'I'm bored'? My mansion is FUN.

**Erik**: No, not really. You just have a bunch of random servants and mint tea.

**Max**: And I think that it's weird.

**Raoul**: Grrr… whatever.

**Erik**: Where's Christine?

**Max**: She went shopping with Meg.

**Erik**: Why?

_-Max grins-_

**Erik**: TELL ME!

**Max**: They're shopping for a wedding dress!

**Erik**: YES!

**Raoul**: Maybe we could go shopping for suits-

**Erik**: No.

**Raoul**: What do you expect to wear there?

**Erik**: Something epic… like the 2004 movie Don Juan costume…

**Max**: Oh my gosh, Erik…. STOP STEALING MY WORD 'EPIC'!

**Erik**: Did you make it up?

**Max**: No…..

**Erik**: Exactly. See, it's because you aren't epic.

**Max**: Shut up!

**Erik**: Mhmm

**Max**: I mean it!

**Erik**: Yup. Sure you do…

**Max**: Well… ANYWAY, for those of you who voted on the pole on my profile…

**Erik**: What pole? Is it like a streetlamp and people put votes on it?

**Max**: Oh my gosh…. Whatever. My point is, it looks like NotSoEpic Duel is winning by one vote. But I have something to confess.

**Erik**: What?

**Max**: I voted for NotSoEpic Duel. So that means that it's really a tie. Personally, I think that I might just delete Specter, because I think I made it a little too confusing. In fact, I might rewrite it. So I will be making ANOTHER pole on whether to rewrite, delete, or continue Specter. So it'll help me SOOOOOO much if you either A) vote on my profile or B) review what I should do either on that story or on this one. Thanks!

**Raoul**: YAY! Oh, so I'm looking on Max's laptop-

**Max**: DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH SUSAN!

**Raoul**: ….?

**Erik**: You named… your laptop…?

**Max**: heh… heh… quite possibly… (_Thinks_: Good thing he didn't ask what my flash drive was named- Erik wouldn't be too happy to know that I named an electronic device after him)

**Raoul**: Well… anyway… it says that Phantom of the Opera has 9,921 Phanfictions.

**Max**: YAY!

**Erik**: You sound like the fop.

**Max**: I happen to hang out with a fop so shut up.

**Erik**: Does this fop happen to be named-

**Max**: YES! I mean no, I mean maybe…

**Erik**: ….

**Max**: Nevermind… I'll tell you later.

**Raoul**: You like this fop of yours, don't you?

**Max**: You shouldn't be talking *growls*

**Raoul**: No, I'm wrong… you LOVE him.

**Max**: No, I'm over him.

**Raoul**: Sure you are. You like him… you like him…

**Max**: Silence fop!

**Raoul**: Bet you tell him that all the time, don't you?

**Max**: Look, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You could get pushed out a two-story window or you could shut your mouth right now.

**Raoul**: I don't believe you have the strength to do that.

**Max**: Oh really?

**Raoul**: Really. And I still think you love him more than Erik.

**Max**: *smirks* Oh Erik, love, could you do me a favor?

**Erik**: If you want me to throw him out a window, then I'd be more than happy too, because I hate him more than you.

**Max**: Thanks… wait what?

**Raoul**: *backs away* Um… nevermind…?

**Erik**: *moves forward, smirks evilly* Too late.

_-Erik throws Raoul out the window _The Emporer's New Groove _style. Raoul screams like a little girl as he falls-_

**Erik**: The dark deed is done… *Michael Crawford cackle*

**Max**: Yay!

**Raoul**: *from outside* Ouch, I landed in a rose bush!

**Max**: Muahahhahahaha! Okay, so review! Write more stories, blah blah blah!

**Erik**: And advise her on what to do with Specter of the Theater!

**Max:** Yes! Thank you, I'd appreciate that sooo much! If you hadn't read it, then read it so that I could get help! THANKS SO MUCH!

**Erik**: And write more stories!

**Max**: I already said that.

**Erik**: Oh well, bye!


	11. EPIC part 1

**This is my quick update. Haven't updated in a while, sorry. Updating other stuff. :D Um… my dad's making me clean my room, so I'm sorry that this can't be longer. **

**WARNING: Remember Erik likes wine? Yeah, there's some of that drinking stuff with Erik in this chapter. And of course, an EPIC fighting sequence *wink* It has to do with swords and Punjab lassos**

**Hope for an update next week. Thanks!**

_-Max and Erik are still in Raoul's mansion, sipping tea-_

**Max: **I hate tea

**Erik: **Do you think he has any wine?

**Max:** Erik! This is no time to get drunk!

**Erik:** But I'm getting married in the morning!

**Max:** What does that have to do with anything?

**Erik:** It has to do with everything.

_-Erik begins to hum-_

**Max:** Oh no… I should have seen this coming when I watched _My Fair Lady_ with him.

**Erik:** _I'm getting married in the morning! Ding dong!  
The bells are gonna chime. Pull out the stopper!  
Let's have a whopper! But get me to the church on time!_

_-Erik goes and searches for wine in Raoul's mansion. He finds it and comes down and sits next to Max-_

**Erik:** _I gotta be there in the mornin'  
Spruced up and lookin' in me prime.  
Girl, come and kiss me;  
Show how you'll miss me.  
But get me to the church on time!_

_-Erik is getting drunk on wine now, so he attempts to kiss me. I just sit on Raoul's sofa and shake my head-_

**Erik: **_If I am dancin' Roll up the floor.  
If I am whistlin' Whewt me out the door!  
For I'm gettin' married in the mornin'  
Ding dong! the bells are gonna chime.  
Kick up an rumpus But don't lost the compass;  
And get me to the church, Get me to the church!_

**Max:** You are _never _watching that movie again.

**Erik: **_Get me to the church on time!_

_-Christine enters and seeing Erik in his drunken state, looks at us appalled-_

**Christine:** Erik…

_-Erik is still drunk, but attempts to be a gentleman at this time-_

**Erik:** Yes, uh… Christine?

**Christine:** Were you drinking wine again?

**Erik:** Um… no…?

_-Christine crosses her arms-_

**Erik:** Okay, so maybe I drank a little, but all the fop has is this repulsive mint tea!

**Christine:** …..

**Erik:** Fine, I'm done. *puts wine away* see? It's gone. *smiles sheepishly*

_-Christine doesn't say anything. Then she sighs and finally answers him-_

**Christine:** You have your suit for tomorrow, right?

**Erik:** Of course.

**Christine:** *smiles* see you tomorrow. And remember to eat something tonight. We all know what happens when you only drink wine and don't eat anything.

_-Christine leaves-_

**Max:** Um… what happens when you don't eat and just drink…?

**Erik:** Er… nothing. I want to watch a movie.

**Max:** If we were in 2011 instead of 1870, then I would comply. However, we have no DVD player here.

**Erik:** So… when we get back, do you wanna have a movie night- just Christine, you, and me?

**Max:** Sure, but can we bring le fop?

**Erik:** WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU WANT TO BRING HIM?

_-Max shrinks back involuntarily-_

**Max:** You and Christine will probably cuddle the whole time and you know, I'm gonna need someone else to talk to.

**Erik:** But why HIM?

**Max:** Well… maybe I'll bring a friend instead if she lets me bring her.

**Erik:** Whatever, it just better not be the fop.

**Max:** What would you wanna watch?

**Erik:** *grins evilly* The Phantom of the Opera- the 2004 version

**Max:** I hate you.

**Erik:** We could just skip to _Don Juan Triumphant_. That costume is epic.

**Max:** OKAY YOU SERIOUSLY NEED TO STOP SAYING EPIC!

**Erik:** And what are you going to do about it?

**Max:** I have a sword.

_-Max pulls out Riptide (which is from the _Percy Jackson Series_)-_

**Erik:** A sword? I have a Punjab lasso.

_-Erik pulls out a Punjab lasso-_

**Max:** Haha, as it is so lovely put in Shakespeare "I am for you"

_-Erik cackles and begins to fight- Punjab against sword. The sword hits Erik, but it goes through him-_

**Max:** I completely forgot that this doesn't work on mortals!

_-It magically transforms Riptide into Inigo Montoya's sword from _The Princess Bride_-_

**Max:** Now I can defeat you. This is an awesome sword.

**Erik:** My Punjab lasso is epic!

**Max:** Shut up!

_-They continue to fight-_

**Erik:** The only way to defeat me is to kill me and you know that you can't do that.

**Max:** And why not?

**Erik:** _I'm getting married in the morning!_

**Max:** You need to stop singing that! ARGH! *attacks again, Erik deflects with lasso* Can you be like Gerik for a moment and please sword fight me?

**Erik:** Fine. But I still get to keep my EPICNESS!

_-Erik's Punjab lasso turns into the 2004 movie sword-_

**Max:** Okay, so how many stories are on the Phantom of the Opera archive?

**Erik:** I believe there are 9,938 Phanfictions.

**Max:** *deflects Erik's blow* Okay, that's good! We are catching up with Warriors!

**Erik:** YES! It shall be epic when we catch up!

**Max:** You are trying to distract me! But you're right, it will be!

**Erik:** *cackles* I'm always right. *deflects Max's sword*

**Max:** I'm gonna need some help here with Erik! Next chapter you get to help me stop him from saying epic!

**Erik:** What? How will a bunch of phangirls stop me?

**Max:** Guys, tell me if you wanna be in the next chapter to defeat Erik. Let me know how we should defeat him *evil grin*

**Erik:** *grunts* I'm still winning!

**Max:** Not for long! HAHA!

**So, now I go back to clean my room for right now. *sigh* BUT I just got the 1990 miniseries of Phantom of the Opera! I get to watch that afterward! YAY! **

**Review! Thanks :D**


	12. EPIC part 2

**Since I know all of you were concerned about my clean room- it's clean and pretty now. Except for the pile of random papers that are on top of my PS2… I need to clean that. I'll do that tonight when I can't sleep :P**

_-Hides EriksNewLove (ENL), Thaovyphantran (Thaovy), PhantomWaffles (don't know how to abb. this), and Little Luxa (Luxa) in a closet in Raoul's mansion-_

**Max: **Remember; attack him when he starts saying ep- THAT WORD. *shuts closet door*

**Erik: **What are you doing?

**Max**: Um… I'm putting my coat in the closet…

**Erik:** You don't have a coat.

**Max**: I meant my jacket.

**Erik:** Why would you put your jacket in Raoul's closet?

**Max:** Because… Raoul's closet is so big and clean and pretty!

**Erik:** …

**Max:** What?

**Erik:** You are a strange young woman. You realize this, right?

**Max:** But I'm amazing, so it makes up for it.

**Erik: **Keep telling yourself that…

**Max**: Hey!

_-Erik smirks-_

**Max**: *trying to change subject* You know; my friend actually watched your movie yesterday?

**Erik**: Oh… that one.

**Max**: I thought you liked it!

**Erik**: I liked the cape…

**Max**: Which cape?

**Erik**: *nervously* both

**Max**: Why?

**Erik**: You're planning something.

**Max**: Um….. what makes you think that?

**Erik**: That silly grin on your face.

**Max**: I am NOT wearing a silly grin on my face!

**Erik**: Sure…

**Max**: Look, I am not planning anything!

**Erik**: Right, I believe you.

**Max**: *hopeful* really?

**Erik**: Yeah. I am going to compose now. Bye.

**Max**: What?

**Erik**: *turns around* Oh, I forgot to answer your question!

**Max**: Yes?

**Erik**: The Don Juan cape in the movie was better than the regular cape because it was more EPIC.

_-The phangirls storm out of the closet, knocking Max over, causing her to be unconscious-_

**ENL**: *in a Zorro costume, including the mask* Stop saying "epic" Erik! It's driving us all crazy!

**Erik**: What?

**PhantomWaffles**: You know exactly what we're talking about!

**Thaovy**: Yes! AND you insulted mint tea! Don't make fun of my mint tea!

**Erik**: Pardon?

**Luxa**: *takes out whistle labeled "Mary-Sues* So we are going to make you stop!

**Erik**: *eyes widen* you wouldn't

**Luxa**: I would.

**PhantomWaffles**: Wait! We must sing first!

_-Everyone except Erik and Max (who is still unconscious at this moment) agrees-_

**PhantomWaffles**: Remember what we practiced! One, two, three…

_-They break out into the Barney theme song-_

**ENL**: It's not working!

_-Erik is humming "All Through the Night" to himself, completely ignoring the angry phans-_

**ENL:** We'll have to do something else!

_-PhantomWaffles runs up and gives Erik a bear hug-_

**Erik**: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

**PhantomWaffles**: Hugging…

**Erik**: Get off.

**Thaovy:** Then stop saying "epic"

**Erik**: Hmm, I could get used to this. I am sort of a Don Juan…

**Thaovy: **It's time for Plan C!

**ENL**: Evasive maneuvers! Evasive maneuvers!

_-ENL pulls out her Inigo Montoya sword- which is a lot like Max's Inigo sword, except for one minor difference. Shards of a mirror appear and the light hits them. That light shines directly into Erik's eyes-_

**Erik**: AHHH! It burns!

**Luxa**: Perfect! *blows the Mary-Sue whistle*

**Erik**: *looks at Luxa, trying to avoid the light* WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

_-Sues flood the area and all of them try to glomp Erik. However, some of them try to hurt the phans as well-_

**ENL**: Why did we bring them here again? *fights a Sue with her sword*

**Thaovy**: Because they would help us stop Erik!

_-Max is waking up when a random Sue hits her with a frying pan. She falls unconscious again-_

**Luxa**: Well, it's working!

**Thaovy**: But how do we get them to stop?

**PhantomWaffles**: We should get something shiny for them to follow!

_-All four of them agree. They go into Raoul's closet and find a foppish glittery cape. They get a homing pigeon that will lead back into Mary-Sue land or whatever and put the cape on that-_

**Mary-Sue 1**: OOOHH It's a shiny flying thing!

**Mary-Sue 2**: NO it's a bird with a shiny cape! It's a pretty bird!

**Mary-Sue 3**: LET'S FOLLOW IT!

_-All the Mary-Sues follow the bird back to wherever it was that they came from-_

**Luxa**: Well, our work here is done.

_-The four phans leave as Maxniss wakes up-_

**Max**: Ugh… what happened?

_-Erik is in a fetal position in the corner-_

**Max**: Erik! What happened to you?

**Erik:** DON'T COME NEAR ME SUSY ROSE! I DON'T LOVE YOU! FRANKLY, I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU! DON'T COME NEAR OR I'LL PUNJAB YOU!

**Max**: What...? No it's okay now, they're-

**Erik**: THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO LIZZIE SPARKLES AND MARIE FRECKLES AND HANNAH PERFECTLYPITCHED. I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF YOU OR THE OTHER FIFTY OR SO MARY-SUES WHO ATTACKED ME!

**Max**: Erik!

**Erik**: I LOVE CHRISTINE!

**Max**: Erik! It's me, Maxniss! They're gone!

**Erik**: What? Who's Maxniss?

**Max**: It's… me… don't you remember?

_-Erik looks closely at Max and memory begins to come through-_

**Erik**: Max?

**Max:** Yes, it's me, Max.

**Erik:** Why didn't you try to help me?

**Max:** I got knocked unconscious. I don't even know what happened.

**Erik**: Oh.

**Max**: Why don't I get you to bed?

**Erik:** Yeah, that'll be good.

_-Max starts helping him up-_

**Erik**: Max?

**Max**: Yeah?

**Erik**: Thank you.

**Max**: For what?

**Erik**: For everything. *kisses Max on the cheek*

**Max**: *blushes* oh, you're welcome.

_-Max takes Erik to his bed and he lies down. She sits in the chair next to the bed-_

**Max**: So… there's 9,958 _Phantom of the Opera_ fanfictions, just to let you know.

**Erik:** Really? That's all you have to say after I got attacked?

**Max**: You usually care…

**Erik:** I will care… later.

**Max**: Just go to sleep.

**Erik:** Mmmhhmm…. *starts snoring*

_-Max leaves the bedroom and goes back to the area where the closet walks by and looks in the closet-_

**Raoul**: NO!

**Max**: What?

**Raoul**: Somebody took my favorite sparkly cape!

**So I just included everyone who reviewed for the last chapter! Thanks so much for the ideas and I sure hope that taught Erik to stop saying "epic", though I kinda feel bad for him a bit.**

**By the way, if any of you are interested in a Phantom role play, there's one in the forums section called Bienvenue au Palais Garnier! It's number 5 on there just in case you forget the name :) **

**Yes, I just advertised, but we have about four people on it already so you know, we need some more people**

**So… um keep writing stories and stuff :P And if you want, review!**

**Thanks!**


	13. A Speaking Third Person War

**Max**: Hello there!

**Erik**: Hello!

**Max**: Do you feel any better?

**Erik**: AHHH Mary-Sues!

**Max**: No, they're not here, Erik.

**Erik**: Oh ok… I knew that. I was only testing your vigilance, my dear.

**Max**: Right… So I wanted to say something this chapter…

**Erik**: You always say something in every chapter!

**Max**: Yes, but- you! Just get out of here, Erik! You're distracting me!

**Erik**: I am quite a distracting monster…

**Max**: YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER!

**Erik**: That's what all my phangirls tell me, yet I never believe them.

**Max**: Erik, I'm not in the mood. Either make yourself useful or just get out of here.

**Erik**: But…

**Max**: No, I'm not in love with you, so don't even do the whole "poor me, pity me" thing. I love you as a friend, but that's it.

**Erik**: So be it. However, you may find that once I'm gone, you have no story. Have you seen the title of this story, my dear?

**Max**: And I can change that title, buster.

**Erik**: But then no one would read it.

**Max**: I could call it "Fop-Murdering" and everyone would be fine with that. In fact, I might just do that…

**Erik**: No! I mean *clears throat* as much as I would enjoy murdering fops, I believe the title does not need altering.

**Max**: Good, so let me talk.

**Erik**: I was going to let you talk…

**Max**: *glares*

**Erik**: Maxniss is not threatening to Erik.

**Max**: *scoffs* Well then… Maxniss is not afraid of Erik's insanity.

**Erik**: Erik does not appreciate that comment.

**Max**: Well Maxniss does not appreciate Erik.

**Erik**: Erik is used to not being loved.

**Max**: Well Maxniss obviously doesn't care!

**Erik**: ….

**Max**: Maxniss doesn't like your face!

**Erik**: Maxniss never even saw his face!

**Max**: She did in the movie and it was UGLY! No wonder why he was never loved!

**Erik**: Erik hopes that Maxniss is never loved!

**Max**: *silence… sadness* Are we seriously having a "talking in third person" war?

**Erik:** Yes, Erik believes that we are. In fact, it appears that Maxniss has lost the war.

**Max**: I –uh – she –Maxniss did not lose!

**Erik**: Yes she did.

**Max:** No she didn't!

**Erik**: YES SHE DID SO SHE SHOULD BE SILENT WHILE ERIK ANNOUNCES WHAT'S GOING ON!

**Max**: *shocked silence*

**Erik**: Now, Maxniss wanted to really say three things. The first thing is about the number of phanfictions we have. So far there are 9,978 phanfictions. However, Warriors still beats us by 910 stories.

**Max**: So…. If we write at least a thousand stories we could possibly beat them.

**Erik:** Precisely.

**Max**: Alright guys! Then I encourage you to write more! I will honestly try, since I do have quite a few ideas… about five or six… however, I'm working on a Tangled fanfiction for my friend. It's gonna be her birthday :D

**Erik**: Oh joy…

**Max**: *rolls eyes* Anyway, that wasn't the second thing!

**Erik**: I knew that!

**Max**: But _they _didn't, Erik.

**Erik**: *grunts*

**Max**: The second thing is about Erik's wedding in the next chapter!

**Erik**: I don't see why we have to have a wedding… at a church… with PEOPLE.

**Max**: Well you better get used to people, because I'm sure someday, your house may be full of them.

**Erik**: *eyes widen*

**Max**: I meant… full of visitors, like me… and my friends… and reviewers….

**Erik**: That's even worse than the thought of children…

**Max**: Oh, then… assume I was talking about you and Christine's kids then…

_-Awkward silence-_

**Max**: So anyway, we need visitors at the wedding! (yay!) So if you review, you get to be one of Christine's bridesmaids!

**Erik**: So that's great for her…. But what if there were people who want to be groomsmen?

**Max**: Um… girls can't be groomsmen, Erik!

**Erik:** Not every fan is a girl you know!

**Max**: How would you know?

**Erik**: I'm not stupid!

**Max**: Grr... whatever. If you "phanguys" actually exist, please ask to be Erik's groomsmen.

**Erik**: Yes, but I'm getting married! YAY!

**Max**: Stop being a child about it, Erik!

**Erik**: *rolls eyes* There was another announcement you wanted to make…

**Max**: Oh yes! This is a very awesome announcement!

**Erik**: It is?

**Max**: Yes! It is!

**Erik:** Apparently it is! But it's like an advertisement!

**Max**: Yes, but it's an ep-

**Erik**: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT WORD!

**Max**: Okay… Well it's an amazing advertisement so all of you should read this!

**Erik**: Sure… read it!

**Max**: Ok, so… have any of you actually wanted to be in a role-play?

**Erik**: A role-play?

**Max**: Yes, a role-play. Like a Phantom of the Opera role-play.

**Erik**: …?

**Max**: It's where we get to pretend to be you guys in a way. It's like writing with other people and stuff and it's really fun!

**Erik**: ok…. I'm just going to pretend I understand what you meant.

**Max**: Well anyway, there's a couple of us doing it right now including (but not limited to) Christine Marie Jonasdotter, EriksNewLove, Luna The Darkrai, and yours truly- Maxniss Everide.

**Erik**: So where can they find said role-play?

**Max**: It's on this site under forums! It's the Phantom of the Opera book forum. It's called Bienvenue au Palais Garnier!

**Erik**: I implore you to at least look at it!

**Max**: I DARE you to read it! Because it's awesome! And fun!

**Erik**: Yes, so I believe that was the last announcement?

**Max**: Yes, yes it was. Thanks guys!

**Erik:** Don't forget to write stories!

**Max**: Oh and don't forget Erik's wedding!

**Erik**: *shouts in glee*

**Max**: Yes! And look at the role-play! Thanks so much!


	14. Before those Wedding Bells Chime

**Me**: Hey guys, I know you were looking forward to the wedding this chapter-

**Erik**: They've been looking forward to the wedding for some time now!

**Me**: Shush! I know! Trust me, we will have the wedding, but there's been a few problems recently…

**Erik**: One being…?

**Me**: We don't have enough people attending! And you don't even have a best man, Erik! If we don't get one, le fop will have to fill in!

**Erik**: What? No! I will NOT let that man get the place of honor!

**Me**: Sooooo we need more attendees as it were! So far we only have three: EriksNewLove, Thaovyphantran, and The Phantom's Mistress.

**Erik**: Only three people? We need more people! Please come *gives complete OOC puppy dog eyes to readers*

**Me**: … That was extremely creepy, Erik

**Erik**: … Thanks.

**Me**: Well guys, Erik and Christine would really appreciate it if you guys attended. So leave a review or send me a PM to let me know you're coming!

**Erik**: That would be amazing! Thanks!

**Me**: There is one more thing, though.

**Erik**: What's that?

**Me**: Updates may not be as frequent as I had originally planned.

**Erik**: Just on this story?

**Me**: No, on all of my stories.

**Erik**: No! I like your incredibly ridiculous stories that really would have nothing to do with my life (like me and Madame Giry? Disgusting)! Why?

**Me**: My grandpa just passed away the week I was at camp, so my family is going through a lot of changes and such to help my grandma.

**Erik**: … I never knew my grandparents…

**Me**: Um… I'm sorry…

**Erik**: At least you had them!

**Me**: But I'll see him again!

**Erik**: Oh that's right… you're a Christian.

**Me**: Erik, you should try it out again. It'll stop your depression and stuff!

**Erik:** … right.

**Me**: *sighs* Any of you fellow Christians out there, please pray for my family. I would appreciate that so much, thanks so much!

**Erik**: What about me?

**Me**: I thought you didn't believe in God?

**Erik:** I do! But… my face…

**Me**: And God would love you less because of it?

**Erik**: No! I mean, maybe… it's not that exactly, it's just the things I've done…

**Me**: He'll forgive you. You ever heard of the gospel?-

**Erik**: *irritably* How did we get on this subject?

**Me**: Erik… I-

**Erik**: We were talking about the wedding, right?

**Me**: Actually, we were talking about why I can't update…

**Erik**: Oh yes, something to do with God…

**Me**: Erik!

**Erik**: What?

**Me**: Don't say it like that… It's offending.

**Erik**: To your religion?

**Me**: To my faith.

**Erik**: Won't you be offending other people with this?

**Me**: I'm not! Or at least I'm not trying to… if it does, then I'm sorry.

**Erik**: *sighs* Whatever, I just hope that you guys show up to the wedding. *puppy dog eyes again* Pwease.

**Me**: That's still extremely creepy… Especially when you say "pwease" instead of "please"

**Erik**: It'll look worse with my mask off…

**Me:** *shrugs*

**Erik**: Grrrr…. You're no fun.

**Me:** Yes, I am! Oh! I should probably go now!

**Erik:** What? No!

**Me**: Sorry, darling, I'll see you guys later! And don't forget to either review or PM me to come to the wedding!


End file.
